Facebook Quotes:
...because I don't have the heart to delete them completely from my life...
"Two tears in a bucket...mother fuck it!"-Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
"George Bush is not Hitler. He would be if he fucking applied himself."-Margaret Cho
"Come on, Marge, it's Uter*us* not Uter*you.*"-Homer Simpson
Je mange mon Anisa, et une omlette du fromage, et une pomme de terre et ta mere. (Ta mere est bon dans ma lit).-Karl
"Mary Shelly was the greatest secretary of all time."--Will North
Upon hearing a theory that it may be possible that white males are superior:"Do you honestly think that you're superior because you managed to oppress more people throughout history??!?"-Amanda Whitley
"I love evening romping and bad live music, cheap drinks, pathetic come-ons and drunken aquaintences..."
"The World's a bitch so I became one, honey."--Flawless
"UPN...where Black actors go to die."--Lexe Culpepper
"OMG that was SO. Utah."-Jacquie S.
Drunken AIM:and Benny said: enjoy ur drinkingand Benny said: u alchy..FunkyGreenDog18: hehe i'm don't drinking!FunkyGreenDog18: done ratherFunkyGreenDog18: god. i'm drunk. hehe.
Me: I need a new pot.Lauren: I need a new LIFE.
"Men and books are why life is worth living...oh and food!!"-Lexe
"I will cut a mugger over this shit, these are Banana Republic panties!"-Laura G.
Laura: I dropped my pickle in my lap!Seth: What's new? Every pickle you come in contact with falls in your lap anyway...
"If I wanted cock and bull fights I would have read Hemingway!"-Judge, The Simpsons
"Remember everything...that is to say...do not forget. Because remembering is so much more psychotic than forgetting..."-Waking Life
"I'm not kidding, he smelled like dirty vagina..."-My Mother
"Skanky is the new conservative..."-Phillip
"I'm gonna firebomb her fuckin' cooch!!!"-Laura
"My lips hurt from kissing ass..."-Me
"I don't believe that Jesus did all of those magic tricks..."-Althea aka Weenie aka my tiniest sister
AJ: I have big hands. You know what they say about men with big hands, right?Me: Yeah but...what about women with big hands, what do they say about them?AJ: Lesbians.
"One man's religion is another man's belly laugh."
"I like Pokemon, but they can't say anything other than their names. Like Squirtle. 'Squirtle, Squirtle'...nigga say HELLO!"-Lexe
Josh: Dude, my directions were impeccable.Me: Dude. Your directions led us into our descent to Hell and back like a fucking Greek epic.
"There are islands of sanity in this world, even when it looks as if everyone has completely lost their mind..."-Josh
"Jesus is Coming back SOON!!!!!!!!!!!And you need to tell satan to Cancel your reservation!"-funny facebook group